29 December 2011


You know when you hate being pretentious or facing pretentious people because they just bored you?
But then when you are bored, it's impossible for you to be pretentious, in any occasion ,

When you have those shitty days like back to back through the whole month,
He then granted you one fine coolest day ever that you might never realize it if you never face any shits before,

Maybe.. quibbling no cure?
Yeah. Something like that

26 December 2011

25 December 2011

The way I picture Christmas vs Kanta hari natalku

A short mini-pine tree at Feronica's house,
waiting for the damn slow bus to get to my friends arms and free foods
Fake Santa with so obvious fake beard walking around throwing candies at town
Lil sister roaming around the house with Christmas hat,
Harry's confusing pseudo lovy dovey kisses with Cho chang  under the mistletoe,
Went here and there pointlessly but that meant so much to me,
All the time well-spent and great movies on TV that all siblings finally satisfied on,
hey we don't need a snow flakes nor killing, freezing snow to feel this deep love,
It's awesome that you are happy and it's contagious in a weird way..

Selaut manusia yang jarang- jarang dilihat,
hampir semua berjubah merah, being ignorance dengan mata- mata yang menyapa,
berlari- lari anak tanpa perlu berlari dan ketawa tanpa mengerakkan  bibir biar seinci,
dari ayah, ibu, anak gadis, jejaka, dan yang cilik- cilik,
semua bergegas -gegas dengan dahi yang ber tag ; This is our day!
Aku ucap selamat hari natal pada mama,
....... * bunyi cengkerik * .........
 mama mesti malas memikirkan akal-akalan gila anak mudanya,
Hey.. aku harap kau pun tahu tanpa perlu aku kasi tahu,
Bukan kita cipta aturan segala,
Tuhan yang punya , tapi Dia tak kata apa- apa,
Tak adil membeza macam kau cipta dunia :)
 Kawan- kawan- Selamat Hari Natal,
Aku rindu rasa cuma aku , kita, happy dan hari natal bersama,
Tuhan, terima kasih atas rasa aman yang memberi ruang senyuman- senyuman manis dilakar ke hujung rahang,
Terima kasih atas memori dulu yang comel ketika memori baru gagal dicpta,

19 December 2011

Sort of Purging

Harsh things I've been blatted  like shits,
I just miss you, miss home, miss them all and try to figure things out a lil bit,
Sometimes I just cry like a kid,
Some part of this life, I'm just not so proud of things I did,
So I kinda bleeding without any intention to bleed,
Maybe I've been bad, and it's time to pay for it,
But I am me, so live you're life, respect other and try not to spit ,
I guess life is about heading forward and get ready for things we gonna hit.

13 December 2011


I shall buy you people a large mirror so that you can take a look at yourself carefully. You're confident level must be something mojo. Kan? I'm quitting this! Now you are one of those who do not mean any single molecule to me. Okay we're cool. back to me and my beloved people again. I just should not push my luck too hard. A note to self.

7 December 2011

Nasty View From My Bubble

When time was real hard for me emotionally, I have the coolest crowd ever, those who will turn anything 'hard' to 'heart', made me living two life , outside vs home, that I prefer some time to be alone and digest things reasonably. The only thing that I can possibly think of was get the hell out of  town and feel the real me for once. Then yes i'm totally across all boundaries and seas and still i found another type of pain in my ass. I can't live the things i cannot accept or ridiculous that even a kindergarten student knew it's wrong, like hearing a boy bitching about another boy who's also bitching, a bunch of impostors that they are so fake, it took you years to see the satanic side. I call them bastards? A young so called friend or girlfriend that actually did not treat you right because she just never and I repeat  never get out to see the cruel world but she think she does, and will underestimate you in front of another fake barbie and also you can unimaginably see her real uncivilized character when she is put under pressure. One of the greatest silent jokes I ever saw..  Her fake lines when you test her with your real friends,or also she's being so rigid towards stuffs and jealousy that came out grotesquely by her actions and words, and the fact that she feel so needed and pity that she has never been that important. I knew a lot of girls  that never get out enough from their house, but not this devil. I know what is the problem, no one ever correcting her wrongdoings.That's where the fucking ' All I said is right thingy' came from. She told you what to do, what not to hear, how you should behave, what facial expression you should show, how she must be responsible towards other people more that a prime minister do, like she is in the best behavior that can possibly  exist under the sun. Not to forget when she claimed herself a best friend ?? seriously? Hilarious thou.. I mean i'm good with your behavior , ' good' as if 'i don't give a damn', But best friends are siblings outside the house.. That you can mock at them and fight terribly but the 'best friend' fact stays the same.  You are at the same level with them. Tell you what , ask your boyfriend to worship you. I am so sure he love you truly without any other intention. I'm sorry I have to pass that. One question, WHICH BLOODY IDIOTIC CREATURE MADE YOU KING???  And a grumpy as an ogre- grumpy friend that tell herself that she's a beauty queen that will give a banshee expression to you and suddenly became damn sweet when it comes to just ANY boy. If I'm not mistaken people call that slutty. And you pity me for not be able to do that. Dude I'm speechless. If you are my sister i give you one nice warm slap. Just nice one so that you know our mom don't deserve those slutty things. And if I have a gun and killing is not a sin, I'll blow your boyfriend's head to pieces. Not to forget other girlfriend  that really unimaginably acting like a moron, took your ideas and will stab you from behind. I mean like seriously this kind of people are this much in number? where did they came from? and the fact that they are going to get married and have kids one day and will pass the damn genes and value to their child. Again, I knew not all apple fall nearby the tree. Another fake barbie, that hated you for being nonchalant towards her fugly face. I mean change to whatever yo want thou. You just don't mean anything to me! You want to use me, and I got you pissed off because others can easily fall to your numpty phrases but not me? And suddenly yo wanna be so close to me?  i mean do I SERIOUSLY look that easy? You think I'm blind? Can't you tell that  it's a no with a capital N and O after 2 years trying.. I just can't live in denial liddat thou.. live your life and stop  bugging mine. Don't even have to bother talking bad about the condition of my skin, my body, my weight, my hair.. dude.. get off me okay, get off me.. And fall for a guy that do not deserve my attention, and he just actually do that kinda lines to other girls, i mean like every other girls, and i used to think that I'm kinda special, and i actually never really talk to him, or he missed tonnes of event in my life and he never care, he judge me as much as these assholes did and okay that was the jerk part of me.. like funny and jerk part of me .. happy? All that i want now is to sit permanently on the fence, trying to be nice ( will push it to the limit) and live my life .  Do not give a damn about me! I beg you! Don't get inside my life again! ever! Huh! like seriously?? I have this much of assholes poking my life like superfluously like that. I won't ask anybody to do anything for me.. be slutty if you want, but not  to me , judge if you want but not to me. I know asking you to come clean would be too harsh for you. What you are doing is just a self righteous arrogance and you are acting out to the overcompensation of your guilty conscience. Judging is for Allah.. HE is my judge and He never treat me as bad as you did? This impostor thing, is it till the end? Okay I'll get some popcorn then. Go ahead, rap someone over the knuckles. I'll smoke and mosh to that. And just so you know, you're ain't an old school fella  as you claimed, you are called mossback. ORTHODOX .  Hey I'm trying to be fair here.. Don't give a shit about me and i won't give a shit about you. Fuck Off!

5 December 2011


Having a night class is always a bad idea. It is not like i hate the class, it is just the unstoppable rain that too heavenly to be wide awake and the piercing air-cond that froze my tired grey cell , the wet grasses make my 40 minutes well-spent time in shower seems to be pointless, restless emotion watching *you do not have to know what*, the fact that i have presented and so did those who i want to see them presenting make the tendency of my attention will stray away from my body as high as a kite increases. Having another art assignment that excites me and the thoughts that I will never get the way they think and how awful they treated others and how confident they are that they have treated people so well totally and always surprise me. They even think I'm weird. Dude. rainy days like this are suitable for music, love and art, and my father don't own this university or any other. On my way back to the hostel, my mind stuffed with the imagination of i can have something hot and soupy even if i knew that i will go back, online and fall asleep. There were other students that have replacement class rustling here and there neglecting the rain.  Fail to compromise? Understandable. Then i saw one guy moving slowly and helplessly and he doesn't look like he have much choices. He's using wheelchair and no one helping him and it was raining like hell. I know there are no path for people like him linked to the covered walkway from that block. So again! All this walkway are not practical enough. Is this the best we deserve? Is this the best HE deserve? He's pushing himself under the not so shady trees at the dark parking lot. I mean if i do kardio double the normal session and bragging about my feet get dirty and he have to face that coldness literally. cold night, cold friends i suppose. I wrote a song about how cold these nights are and how impossible not to miss you.. Ok that sounds yuck now. Now i feel so focus and it's the afterclass. I hope that he reach his hostel safely.. No fever no no.And to this 'Not my Abah's Uni'. Dude!.

4 December 2011

Satanic Mind?

Skip those bull! Now tell me , you're done aite? Silence, walking away.. You think it's cool huh? Those looks.. you think that speaks? I should not answer you at all.. Go ahead. Chew me up! As always, it's all Greek to me..